hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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