Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
