i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
