I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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