i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
