ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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