He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
