Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
