When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
