oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Terrible idea I love it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize