i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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