remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
