Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
