But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
