Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
