why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Reggie can tackle my bush.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
