All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
