Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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