I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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