I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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