I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
