I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
