Cold hands, warm shart.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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