Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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