i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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