i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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