I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
