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• (510): View more from California

  We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm with your mom on this one.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

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• (281): View more from Texas

  i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...

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• (661): View more from California

  He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx

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• (619): View more from California

  See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.

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• (310): View more from California

  Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk

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