My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize