I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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