Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
