K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
