I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize