Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
