Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
