life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
