He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
