thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize