We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
