O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
