So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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