I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Say something about gay babies.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize