at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
