There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
