I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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