i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she looked like the before picture.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
