Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
how does that bad decision feel?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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