She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
