You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
