he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
