yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
