Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
