took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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