farters have to be the big spoon...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize