New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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