You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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