I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You're earring is so big in my mouth
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
