i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
