Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
