How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
