This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
