Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
