While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
