Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
