Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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