How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
