How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
